Zombieland

I never thought that any movie could compare to Shaun of the Dead. I mean, that movie made zombies funny. It made apocalyptic scenarios just a little more silly.

Then I watched Zombieland.

This movie does for Zombies what Godfather did for mafia movies. Except without the dead horse. Let me explain.

Horror/Comedy is pretty much one of the hardest things to do these days. If you think about it, it's like doing a Romance/Murder movie. It's heaven and hell, cold and hot. I think you get the idea.

Lava and ice.

Okay, stop it. Anyway, mixing these two can be really difficult. You have to give the audience a sense of personal danger to the characters, while at the same time keeping the overall mood of the movie out of the depression gutter where the only reason people don't cut their wrists right there in the theatre is because there's laws about shaving in public. There's a clear difference in dark humor and slapstick or situational comedy, and choosing the right one can make or break your movie. While not the same genre, Fight Club chose to stick to it's dark comedy, when it easily could have been something out of Benny Hill's ass.

In Zombieland we are treated to a world devoid of just about every human on earth. A virus (apparently initiated by a bad burger) has wiped out all of humanity, and Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) is one of the few left. He has a shopping list of phobias which he delivers to the other survivors throughout the movie, and is the quintessential loner/shut-in. While his character is perfectly set up, his lines and actions don't always match up to what is expected of the typical nerd.

Eventually, Columbus meets up with Tallahassee, a redneck cowboy with nothing but ass-kicking and awesome in his veins. There's a reason Woody Harrelson was put on this earth, and this character is pretty much why. He's just the kind of person you can see surviving this sort of thing, with the perfect amount of reckless abandonment and level-headedness that makes race car drivers and assassins good at what they do. The two of them venture towards California, looking for an apparently zombie-free theme park. In this conversation, however, Tallahassee reveals his doubts about the park, stating that (essentially) it's always the opposite direction from where you came from.

From here we meet the duo of Emma Stone and Abagail Breslin (Wichita and Little Rock, respectively) who turn out to be the perfect con-women in a post apocalyptic world. They are seemingly devoid of any emotion towards our two heroes, but along the way everyone's walls are broken down in some form or another.

To keep going from this point in the movie is to reveal way too much of the plot, so I'm obliged to answer some of the typical Zombie movie criteria for a good movie.

1. Does it do the Zombie genre justice?
Yes. There's plenty of zombies in it, and the movie doesn't lose itself in trying to explain just how or why humanity failed.

2. Are all zombies killed in a logical manner?
Yes. These zombies are not Romero truffle-shuffle zombies, but instead are the kind you'd have to do a decent sprint to keep away from, usually. They are deterred by body hits but will not go down pretty much without a decapitation or suitable head trauma.

3. Is it gory without being gore-for-gore's sake?
Yes, you won't find gore-porn here, instead it's all done in a way that is cool and comfortably timed depending on the situation.

All in all, Zombieland should definately be on your list when it comes out on DVD/Blu-ray, and right under Shaun of the Dead on your Zombie movie list.

If you've already seen the movie or DO NOT MIND SPOILERS click on for a discussion about the more intricate parts of the movie.

Alright, lets discuss something that I've been noticing on other reviews: the lack of a true 'plot'. I think this issue is two-fold. First, this movie was brought around to every TV station to try to be a series before it was ever a movie. I'm surprised SyFy didn't pick this up, because even they couldn't screw it up. So, taking into consideration that it was meant to be open-ended for a reason, it's one of the reasons it doesn't 'need' a plot.

Second, look at the movie as a whole: humanity is probably screwed, and there isn't much else that's going to keep the characters alive besides each other and a healthy dose of fun. The characters don't have much else to live for other than themselves and the glimmer or hope that maybe one day life will return to normal, but for right now they just need to get away, and try to blaze out a living. Columbus has (until about midway through) the hope that he can see his parents again, but then he kills Bill Murray, so he kind of becomes like everyone else.

Therefor, this movie doesn't need a proper ending to whatever plot it does have, because if it did I don't think it would have been nearly as good- keeping everyone alive (sans-Murray of course) was the perfect way to keep it all going without making it too sappy.

I thought Tallahassee was going to be this ultimately loner character that wouldn't reveal his past, but when the stuff about his son came up, I'm not going to lie, I welled up. I'm sure part of it's because I'm a father as well, but also because seeing that part of him exposed was more emotionally 'there' than Columbus' whole thing about being alone all the time. His attempt to relieve some of the sadness "I haven't cried like that since Titanic", was icing on the cake. The man just didn't want to think about it.

The rules gag was perfect, and it just kept getting better whenever they would re-appear. Rarely do we see many on-screen subtitles besides ones for languages, and the fact that the sounds were there was cool, and if the show was ever on TV, infinitely re-usable.

All in all, it is a rare star on the Zombie genre that doesn't make you want to barricade yourself in your house. Instead, this movie makes you want to grab a hummer and (after checking the back seat) go out in a blaze of glory. Or look for Twinkies.